Help! My husband is frustrating me in bed.

This week is our week of Questions and Answers.

We just received this inbox from a lady who prefers to remain anonymous. Please let’s hear your take on this…

Message as Received!

“TheAreaDoctor, please hide my identity. I read one of your post on is bigger better?

I am a 28yrs old woman, married to a 41yrs old pastor.

My husband is very big down there, but I do not enjoy sex with him. I didn’t have sex with him before marriage because I am a Christian, but I saw his penis and was impressed with its size.

Although I am not a virgin, I made up my mind not to have sex with this man because men have used me too much.

I married this man in January, but I am very disappointed because this man is not good in bed. What is even paining me is the way he used to brag to me about how good he is in sex, but I am feeling very bad now because I expected him to be able to satisfy me.

This my husband will always disturb me for sex, but he is a 1min man. He has a very big penis but before he goes in and out 4 times he cums. The sad thing is the moment he comes, he just abandons me to either sleep or go to the parlour.

I have talked to him about this, but he always tells me I like sex too much. Since I married him, I have not cum more than 2 times. The other times is because I started masturbating and after that I will start feeling bad because it’s a sin.

Please what should I do? This man is tempting me to go outside. Should I tell my pastor, his parents or I should just go out and satisfy myself? Sometimes I think of leaving this marriage.

I am getting frustrated.”


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22 thoughts on “Help! My husband is frustrating me in bed.

  1. Madam, Sorry o! I don’t even want to imagine your plight. That your Pastor husband is damn too selfish. Mbok report him to your pastor or even his parents, or buy yourself a dildo.

  2. You saw the size of his penis and was impressed? Like seriously? Madam, na size you been wan chop? My dear, you are stuck with him o. Both of you should see a marriage counselor. The annoying thing is these kind of men are always arrogant and proud.

    I pray God helps you.

  3. How do I explain this to you dear. We are Christians but need to be very practical. He is now your husband, and since he doesn’t need when you tell him how u feel, get study materials on love making, you can dig deep into issues bout the big sized guys that cum quick ,check out food they need to consume that will help that inability, you can decide to be the one riding the ship than the one receiving,that way you will get satisfied as well , he will definitely see you in a different light and will in his closet change his style lol. U don’t need to go outside plssss don’t spoil your home. You can seek counsel from your pastor with him as the last resort ie when all these options fail. Pray for him. God instituted marriage,he will definitely turn things around for your good. God bless your home.

  4. Hmm. It’s a difficult one. You can start by praying to the Holy Spirit to help you. He will show you what to do. I didn’t like sex at first but through prayers and conselling from trusted elderly woman, it began to work out.

    I would advise you prayerfully select whom to talk to in church so as not to worsen the case.

    Still keep at talking to your husband.

    Finally, going out is one guilt you wouldn’t want to live with as a Christian.

    Doc, If it’s okay for me to a secret with her, let her call 08061650275.

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  5. Nothing solves one minute men. He needs to compensate maybe by giving the lady the best heads ever or be exceptional in fore play. The sad thing is he did realize his plight before now. Honestly find a way to give yourself pleasure and you feel good sex is a priority then leave.

  6. Why is it that it’s always the women that feels frustrated? I bet the man is also frustrated because he can’t last long like most men. Please let us also consider the man’s plight joor.

    1. Abbey, I beg to disagree with you here. Read this woman’s story again. If the man is frustrated like you mentioned, he would seek ways to satisfy his wife after his cum by playing, sucking, touching until she climaxes too.

      Walking away after he’s been satisfied is cruel… All shades of cruelty.

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  7. It happens at times,rarely if I dare say, but shouldn’t happen as often as she’s made it seem. It could be excitement about impressing you and having a repeat non-performance session or maybe he’s tense about something but ideally a dude should be able to hold his own for a lot longer than 5mins. No shame, no pride, he should seek medical advice on any health issues he may have or possibly get enhancers dat would prolly desensitize him and help keep it up for a while to make his woman proper happy in bed. The problem is wen he becomes dependent on it….na der yawa gas!!!
    You need to help him with love cos you both are stuck in the same boat for life and in as much as we may get spiritual about this discussion, sex is critical in your marriage.

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  8. We are all different in many ways, some guys are just blessed with the gift, while orthers strive to be good.. However, we must be careful as a lot of guys take drugs to enhance performance just to please wives and die .. Health is a reason for some as blood pressure drugs are responsible for erectitle dysfunction for some. Diabetes is also another health issue that affects men.. But do not forget, many men also are over excited and less gifted in bed… However, its important to dialogue with ur man.. And find help where necessary

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      1. Yes yes!… Dialogue – open honest Dialogue is the key….. Unfortunately a lot of marriages fall short in this area… fear of being misunderstood, fear of vulnerability, fear of the unknown… This is actually a very deep issue – more common than we can imagine…. There seems to be such a taboo related to talking about sex. So when there are issues, the sickness is hidden and covered up – leaving the victims to suffer in silence.. I’m glad light is shining on this!!…

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