How I ate My Dump – My Shit – My Poop

As a young girl in my late teens, I always admired older ladies who wore make up and had well polished finger nails.

On like these days where teens wear make-up, weaves and have their finger nails artificially fixed, I didn’t have that kind of luxury. Fix what? In whose house? Dem no born me well.

Patiently, I waited until I got some kind of “freedom” in my twenties and ……..voila!

The first time I fixed my nails, it was really beautiful. I looked at them often in admiration – that kind of way I looked at my wedding band the first few weeks I received it.

While at a friend’s house oneday, the urge to answer nature’s call came just as I was served this yummy looking bowl of vegetable soup and eba.

After doing my dump, the toilet didn’t have any tissues, so I washed my buttocks with water from a bucket which had a bowl in it, using my right fingers – it wasn’t a new practice afterall.

Seated at the table, with my hands “washed”, I started digging into my bowl of eba gracefully. But for every soup-coated ball of eba I brought closer to my mouth, I perceived the smell of shit. At a point, I got concerned and looked into my artificial nails

Ewwwww…….come and see something!

My artificial nails were coated with my shit, fully coated. Meanwhile the plate of food was almost empty and that was how I ate my dump…yuck

I started vomiting spontaneously, even the food I ate before leaving home came out. There and then, I pulled off those artificial nails and have never worn another till date.

Moral of the story: Always look into those artificial nails of yours before you touch that food. Yours may not be “shit”, it may be dirt gathered from your armpits when you scratched them. It may be dirt from your scalp while you were gisting and scratching your head, especially if you have weaves on.

So just take a peek into those nails for your health sake.

………………hurricane Vivian!


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